My grade: A+++++, with aplomb, like in A Christmas Story
IMDb rating: 8.9/10 with >30,000 votes
This is by far the best show that you're probably not watching.
Well, if you're involved in the feminist/anti-racist/genderqueer blogosphere, you probably are watching it, since I feel like the entire viewership of Community consists of the overlap in the Venn diagram of "gender/race studies nerds" and "TV/film studies nerds."
Or maybe just nerds.
Community is like an anthropological experiment in television. The episodes can sometimes be truly insane, in the did-someone-pull-a-Hunter-S.-Thompson-esque-binge-before-writing-this fashion, but on more than one occasion it's resulted in some really intense conversations with my like-minded friends about what TV really is, anyway.
For instance, there's one episode where, at the end of it, my best friend and I got into a really, really long conversation about whether or not the writers were just screwing with us. That particular episode paints the study group as maybe sort of terrible people, and J and I had suspicions that they may have been planning that all along, a sort of "Hey, everybody! Do you think you're nice? WELL HA, LOOK AT THAT, YOU REALLY LIKE THESE PEOPLE AND THEY ARE HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE ASSHATS!" It's like if you found out that Betty White was actually a cannibal, because you'd probably end up thinking, "Well, I'm sure she has her reasons. She seems so nice!"
One thing I really love about Community is that the one real string of continuity is the characters and the development of their personalities. I could Britta this whole post by loading it with spoilers about who they are, but in my opinion, finding out more about them is kind of the most important narrative arc of the show.
I could tell you about the paintball episodes, and how they're completely insane but also amazing and how closely one of them follows Die Hard (and let's not even get started on how Die Hard is the best movie of all time), or how Abed really loves Cougar Town and even appeared as an extra on Cougar Town one time, not as Danny Pudi, but as Abed, and that would not spoiler the show for you. But I kind of think that if I told you about the characters, it would.
This show has done everything ever. There's a claymation episode, there's a musical episode, there's an episode with a secret neo-Nazi, and even a Doctor Who parody, Inspector Spacetime, which completely illogically has its own fan tumblr despite the fact that it doesn't really exist.
Also, because you know I was going to get to this: This is a show on a major network, with a cast that is pretty evenly balanced gender-wise, a closer-to-real-life-than-pretty-much-all-TV-ratio of both race and religion (Abed is Muslim, Troy is a Jehovah's Witness, Annie is Jewish, Shirley is Christian, Britta's an atheist, Pierce belongs to some weird cult-type thing, Jeff is not religiously identified, I'm pretty sure? Holy crap, now that I write it all out, this is even better than I thought). There's even a character that dresses in drag pretty regularly, and in the beginning they sort of made fun of him for it, but then they just sort of accepted it, and that's pretty great. Mostly they're straight, but some are straight-ish, and I would argue nobody really knows what the deal is with the Dean, but anyway, amazing.
I think normally I'll try to pick some of the best quotes from the shows I talk about, but I'll let these videos speak for themselves
(after the jump).
oh the places we'll go!
12.30.2011
things you should be reading, end of the year edition
I actually have a Google docs spreadsheet that lists all the movies I need to get around to seeing, which is not as detailed as this list of movies you should've seen in 2011, but does include several of these. BAM. I win at pop culture. Because... well, because I just said I did. If it's on the internet, it's true.
I don't think this actually happened, but it would be amazing if it had.
Yes, it is super twee, but that doesn't stop it from being adorable: Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel being TOTAL BESTIES LOL and making music together.
Do you need a new job? Are you the biggest nerd ever? Well then, you should know that Stephen Hawking is looking for an assistant. Are you listening, fictional kid from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close? Dream job ahoy!
I love Overheard in New York, and especially the ones that include kids. I'm not sure if it's that people talk about weirder things in New York, or if it's just that we all feel like the entire city is our apartment, or if we're all just used to the near-anonymity of living on a relatively small island with a few million people - but the quotes on that site are very often hilarious.
Everyone is loving Doctor Who right now! Even the Bloggess! I am not sure if I'm just obsessed with her (I am) or what, but this totally makes my day.
"Pro-tip: Any bit of advice that starts off with “I hope this advice doesn’t sound rapey” is advice you SHOULD NOT FOLLOW." - ManBoobz, excellent, always.
This has been making its way around the internet (or at least, the feminist-genderqueer internet that I personally inhabit, but, tomato tomato, you know what I mean?) but just in case you haven't read it yet, it is a really excellent post about how to deal with talking to kids about gender. Man, gender! Why you gotta be all full of constructs, ruining everything for everybody? Sheeeesh.
A good friend of mine recently started a blog, which is sort of a reboot of an earlier blog, except not? I don't know, it's mildly confusing to describe but anyway it's basically her whole coming-out story. Sometimes NSFW content, but a very interesting perspective, as she was married to a man and near/at 30 when she finally realized that she wasn't really into male-identified persons. Also, it is pretty juicy, and feels like you're finding out all the good gossip, which I personally love.
There is plenty of stigma surrounding mental/behavioral health issues for most people anyway, but those problems are more pronounced in the black community. This (this meaning "the Siwe Project") is a really important step in the mental health world, and you should keep an eye on it.
Oh, also, if you're into music and queer-ity, this podcast/mixtape site dedicated to queer music may be the place for you! Semantics question: is it still a mixtape if it's a podcast?
Yayyyyyyy reading things! I'm hoping to get my first TV thing put up by the end of the day, so, you know, WATCH OUT FOR THAT.
I don't think this actually happened, but it would be amazing if it had.
Yes, it is super twee, but that doesn't stop it from being adorable: Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel being TOTAL BESTIES LOL and making music together.
Do you need a new job? Are you the biggest nerd ever? Well then, you should know that Stephen Hawking is looking for an assistant. Are you listening, fictional kid from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close? Dream job ahoy!
I love Overheard in New York, and especially the ones that include kids. I'm not sure if it's that people talk about weirder things in New York, or if it's just that we all feel like the entire city is our apartment, or if we're all just used to the near-anonymity of living on a relatively small island with a few million people - but the quotes on that site are very often hilarious.
Everyone is loving Doctor Who right now! Even the Bloggess! I am not sure if I'm just obsessed with her (I am) or what, but this totally makes my day.
"Pro-tip: Any bit of advice that starts off with “I hope this advice doesn’t sound rapey” is advice you SHOULD NOT FOLLOW." - ManBoobz, excellent, always.
This has been making its way around the internet (or at least, the feminist-genderqueer internet that I personally inhabit, but, tomato tomato, you know what I mean?) but just in case you haven't read it yet, it is a really excellent post about how to deal with talking to kids about gender. Man, gender! Why you gotta be all full of constructs, ruining everything for everybody? Sheeeesh.
A good friend of mine recently started a blog, which is sort of a reboot of an earlier blog, except not? I don't know, it's mildly confusing to describe but anyway it's basically her whole coming-out story. Sometimes NSFW content, but a very interesting perspective, as she was married to a man and near/at 30 when she finally realized that she wasn't really into male-identified persons. Also, it is pretty juicy, and feels like you're finding out all the good gossip, which I personally love.
There is plenty of stigma surrounding mental/behavioral health issues for most people anyway, but those problems are more pronounced in the black community. This (this meaning "the Siwe Project") is a really important step in the mental health world, and you should keep an eye on it.
Oh, also, if you're into music and queer-ity, this podcast/mixtape site dedicated to queer music may be the place for you! Semantics question: is it still a mixtape if it's a podcast?
Yayyyyyyy reading things! I'm hoping to get my first TV thing put up by the end of the day, so, you know, WATCH OUT FOR THAT.
12.28.2011
happy light, day whatever, my stupid apartment got broken into so who cares about happy lights anyway
So, in addition to my normal load of depression-ness, I came home from visiting my parents to all of my belongings scattered at random around my apartment. Hooray for burglars!
The police said they came in through my window. Obviously, this means I haven't slept much in the last few days. I just lie there, staring at my window, believing that if I don't look away, nobody can appear there. It's a coping mechanism I came up with as a little kid. I've always been afraid of random home invasions, which may or may not stem from seeing [TW: violence] this case on the news when I was, what, eleven? I was the age of the girl that survived, I think.
So, as a kid, I was convinced that if I watched the door of my room, it wouldn't open. Or at least I'd have enough warning to scream or something. It's resulted in a weird compulsion that I have to check every possible space in my home for someone hiding, sometimes even if I've been there all day and know no doors or windows are open.
It also makes me really, really angry that someone invaded my space like that. I think that's part of why I was so adamant about filing a police report at five in the morning when I finally got home. I have always regretted not filing a report against my abuser in high school, and I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations has run out by now, I don't know where he lives, I don't want to embroil myself in any sort of legal he-said-she-said. I'm never letting someone take advantage of me, and then lord it over me, make me feel ashamed, ever again.
It's really upsetting that I could be going back to sleepless nights staring at an entrance to my room. I didn't really sleep that well before this. I'm kind of paranoid anyways.
God, what assholes. What goddamn assholes.
So I'm exhausted, but actually my mood isn't horrible. Maybe getting angry helped me to get over my dip. Hmm.
Anyway y'alls, sorry that my analysis of the happy light has been so useless. I'm going to keep using it, because it is a bit cheerier and brighter than my string of holiday lights I have in lieu of a real lamp. My ceiling light burned out a month or two ago and I can't get the cover off. I'm a real adult!
I'm gonna start working on my TV review project, using this list, because why not? It definitely makes things easier, by including a whoooooole host of shows I couldn't care less about.
Also, I do not believe I will write anything about any Law and Order franchises, nor CSIs. Except for that I will say that I haaaaaaaaaaaaate Law&Order: Criminal Intent because I have a severe and irrational dislike of Vincent D'Onofrio. I'm sure he's a perfectly nice guy, I just can't.
The police said they came in through my window. Obviously, this means I haven't slept much in the last few days. I just lie there, staring at my window, believing that if I don't look away, nobody can appear there. It's a coping mechanism I came up with as a little kid. I've always been afraid of random home invasions, which may or may not stem from seeing [TW: violence] this case on the news when I was, what, eleven? I was the age of the girl that survived, I think.
So, as a kid, I was convinced that if I watched the door of my room, it wouldn't open. Or at least I'd have enough warning to scream or something. It's resulted in a weird compulsion that I have to check every possible space in my home for someone hiding, sometimes even if I've been there all day and know no doors or windows are open.
It also makes me really, really angry that someone invaded my space like that. I think that's part of why I was so adamant about filing a police report at five in the morning when I finally got home. I have always regretted not filing a report against my abuser in high school, and I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations has run out by now, I don't know where he lives, I don't want to embroil myself in any sort of legal he-said-she-said. I'm never letting someone take advantage of me, and then lord it over me, make me feel ashamed, ever again.
It's really upsetting that I could be going back to sleepless nights staring at an entrance to my room. I didn't really sleep that well before this. I'm kind of paranoid anyways.
God, what assholes. What goddamn assholes.
So I'm exhausted, but actually my mood isn't horrible. Maybe getting angry helped me to get over my dip. Hmm.
Anyway y'alls, sorry that my analysis of the happy light has been so useless. I'm going to keep using it, because it is a bit cheerier and brighter than my string of holiday lights I have in lieu of a real lamp. My ceiling light burned out a month or two ago and I can't get the cover off. I'm a real adult!
I'm gonna start working on my TV review project, using this list, because why not? It definitely makes things easier, by including a whoooooole host of shows I couldn't care less about.
Also, I do not believe I will write anything about any Law and Order franchises, nor CSIs. Except for that I will say that I haaaaaaaaaaaaate Law&Order: Criminal Intent because I have a severe and irrational dislike of Vincent D'Onofrio. I'm sure he's a perfectly nice guy, I just can't.
12.21.2011
blogher
In other news, I want to go to BlogHer in 2012 (it's in NYC, so my only expenses will be the convention registration fee) - if you want to help me go, click on an ad or buy something from my Amazon Associates store (which is full of useful and necessary things! Like ramen and seasons of Daria) before the end of February, and/or link your friends to my blog. In return for your assistance in this matter, I will ... do something. I don't know. Suggest something.
happy light, day two-point-five
I bought one of those socket-timer things and set it so that the happy light goes on from about 8AM-9AM and then from 8:30PM-midnight, so that I don't have to remember to do it, because let's be real, I'm terrible at remembering, and also this way it will look like there's someone in my apartment all the time.
On the waking-up front, it hasn't really been that useful yet. That may be because I am capable in sleeping in literally any conditions, and lights don't really have a huge effect on whether I wake up or not, though they are helpful in reminding me that I need to go to work.
Mood-wise, I'm not really sure what it's doing. The lamest part about depression is that it's really, really difficult to quantify your moods. My doctor says that her goal in me being on anti-depressants is for me to be at 80%, or to improve 80%, or something, but how can you tell when you're feeling 80% better than before? And before when? Before, like my absolute lowest low? My average low?
I've never been very good at assigning things scale-points, because I have a really difficult time contextualizing things versus memories of things - I have a tendency to feel that however something is in the moment, it has always been and will always be that way. I was in a placebo psych study during college and was told I'm incredibly resistant to the placebo effect, but also that they thought I had picked entirely random numbers to judge the intensity of the heat-plate-thing, since there was very little consistency between the actual heat level and the level I reported feeling.
The point of this is that I have no idea if anything's improving. I could be marginally better, but I would have no idea.
Although I did make my roommate and myself dinner last night (grilled cheese and tomato soup, y'alls) which speaks to some sort of self-motivation or something? Or the desire to trick my roommate into not trying to get me to go to the gym again. I'm sore. And tired. That doesn't really speak to this stupid light making everything better.
My therapist told me yesterday that there is some evolutionary psych theory that depression came out of a legitimate need, as in, hibernation, or something, but then it can turn really terrible when you aren't trying to hibernate and are, for instance, trying to go to work every day. I don't know if I should find that encouraging or not. I have no idea.
Mrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgh.
To completely change topics, I'm going to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo on Friday with my dad, because my dad and I totally bond over our shared love of weird stuff that is also violent (I was just going to make that "weird stuff," but then I realized my entire immediate family really enjoys pretending to be raptors and making up songs about ham and stuff like that, whereas my family all watched Inglorious Basterds together and my dad and I were like, WOOO HIGH FIVES and my sister and my mom were all, EUUUGHHHHHHH WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE GETTING THEIR HEADS SMASHED EUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and also I watched an episode of True Blood (which my father introduced me to) with my sister and she got incredibly skeeved out and said DON'T MAKE ME WATCH ANY MORE! I DON'T WANT TO! So it just goes to show you can't account for taste.) and that was way too long for a parenthetical aside.
Anyway, I'm very excited for the movie, because I love David Fincher an awful lot, and I fully intend to report back with my findings. The NYTimes review said that the consensual sex scenes are upsetting because they're much more focused on the female forms than the male, which is very Hollywood and very not Lisbeth Salander-approved.
I'll let you know.
On the waking-up front, it hasn't really been that useful yet. That may be because I am capable in sleeping in literally any conditions, and lights don't really have a huge effect on whether I wake up or not, though they are helpful in reminding me that I need to go to work.
Mood-wise, I'm not really sure what it's doing. The lamest part about depression is that it's really, really difficult to quantify your moods. My doctor says that her goal in me being on anti-depressants is for me to be at 80%, or to improve 80%, or something, but how can you tell when you're feeling 80% better than before? And before when? Before, like my absolute lowest low? My average low?
I've never been very good at assigning things scale-points, because I have a really difficult time contextualizing things versus memories of things - I have a tendency to feel that however something is in the moment, it has always been and will always be that way. I was in a placebo psych study during college and was told I'm incredibly resistant to the placebo effect, but also that they thought I had picked entirely random numbers to judge the intensity of the heat-plate-thing, since there was very little consistency between the actual heat level and the level I reported feeling.
The point of this is that I have no idea if anything's improving. I could be marginally better, but I would have no idea.
Although I did make my roommate and myself dinner last night (grilled cheese and tomato soup, y'alls) which speaks to some sort of self-motivation or something? Or the desire to trick my roommate into not trying to get me to go to the gym again. I'm sore. And tired. That doesn't really speak to this stupid light making everything better.
My therapist told me yesterday that there is some evolutionary psych theory that depression came out of a legitimate need, as in, hibernation, or something, but then it can turn really terrible when you aren't trying to hibernate and are, for instance, trying to go to work every day. I don't know if I should find that encouraging or not. I have no idea.
Mrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgh.
To completely change topics, I'm going to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo on Friday with my dad, because my dad and I totally bond over our shared love of weird stuff that is also violent (I was just going to make that "weird stuff," but then I realized my entire immediate family really enjoys pretending to be raptors and making up songs about ham and stuff like that, whereas my family all watched Inglorious Basterds together and my dad and I were like, WOOO HIGH FIVES and my sister and my mom were all, EUUUGHHHHHHH WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE GETTING THEIR HEADS SMASHED EUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and also I watched an episode of True Blood (which my father introduced me to) with my sister and she got incredibly skeeved out and said DON'T MAKE ME WATCH ANY MORE! I DON'T WANT TO! So it just goes to show you can't account for taste.) and that was way too long for a parenthetical aside.
Anyway, I'm very excited for the movie, because I love David Fincher an awful lot, and I fully intend to report back with my findings. The NYTimes review said that the consensual sex scenes are upsetting because they're much more focused on the female forms than the male, which is very Hollywood and very not Lisbeth Salander-approved.
I'll let you know.
12.20.2011
true life: i'm ron swanson
Megan’s going to star in Lips Together, Teeth Apart on Broadway, in April. Nick, what will you do?
N.O.: Three years ago, I came [to New York] when Megan was doing Young Frankenstein. I found a shop space in Red Hook and built a canoe.
From an interview with Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman from last year. Whatever. It's amazing.
That quote is exactly what I wanted Ron Swanson to be in real life. AND HE IS.
h/t to Shakesville
N.O.: Three years ago, I came [to New York] when Megan was doing Young Frankenstein. I found a shop space in Red Hook and built a canoe.
From an interview with Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman from last year. Whatever. It's amazing.
That quote is exactly what I wanted Ron Swanson to be in real life. AND HE IS.
h/t to Shakesville
the girl with the thing like a lizard
So, on Sunday night, when I met with my best friend at our favorite bar, we got into a spirited debate about the choice for the new Lisbeth Salander, Rooney Mara.
Jacks said she was too pretty and too delicate, and that something she had really appreciated about Noomi Rapace was that the woman is all muscles.
"She's practically a square! Of pure muscle!" cried J.
"They aren't that physically different!" cried I. "And besides, Rooney Mara looks grittier in her Lisbeth getup than Noomi Rapace did."
[Also, has anyone else noticed that both of those names are AMAZING? And should always be said as full names, preferably in the same sentence?
I digress.]
Jacks countered by saying that she thought Rooney Mara looked "too pretty and feminine."
Cut to gchat this morning:
We are both straight-up terrible at maintaining our opinions. And at linear conversations. And at not using "like."
Okay, so the "like" thing is all me. Hmm.
Jacks said she was too pretty and too delicate, and that something she had really appreciated about Noomi Rapace was that the woman is all muscles.
"She's practically a square! Of pure muscle!" cried J.
"They aren't that physically different!" cried I. "And besides, Rooney Mara looks grittier in her Lisbeth getup than Noomi Rapace did."
[Also, has anyone else noticed that both of those names are AMAZING? And should always be said as full names, preferably in the same sentence?
I digress.]
Jacks countered by saying that she thought Rooney Mara looked "too pretty and feminine."
Cut to gchat this morning:
9:54 AM on Tuesday
jacquelin
me: why are you not rectifying this coffee-in-lap situation
with, like, towels
jacquelin
Sent at 9:56 AM on Tuesday
jacquelin
me: right?!?!
oh, also, i saw another trailer for girl with the dragon tattoo last night, and you were right, she is sticks
i hadn't seen the bit where she's like, hunched over and wet before
jacquelin
i dunno, i saw a trailer, she is less prettied up than i'd thought
me: hahahah!
love it
also, i think a big part of what made lisbeth so like, controversial as a character, is that she is a female who talks bluntly and openly about sex
that is disturbing to people
like, she talks about sex without being sexy about it
Sent at 10:00 AM on Tuesday
jacquelin
that is disturbing
and will lead to the downfall of our society and ladies having lots of sex, which they should not do. because of god.
Sent at 10:02 AM on Tuesday
me: FACT
We are both straight-up terrible at maintaining our opinions. And at linear conversations. And at not using "like."
Okay, so the "like" thing is all me. Hmm.
12.19.2011
people are seriously just churning out SOLID GOLD today
So, my good friend and I share our Google calendars with each other, and I just noticed this amazing gem:
I love this girl. She is so completely insane and I love it.
Addendum of why she's great:
Obviously I am awful at using incredibly basic image editing software. Don't judge.
in completely unrelated news
I just clicked on the "Black Metal" radio option on Spotify because it seemed like a good idea? GUESS WHAT SPOTIFY THIS IS NOT BLACK METAL
happy light!
So, in case I've managed to be at all obscure about this before, I have clinical depression. It's SUPER FUN in the winter when, despite your meds having done a top-notch job the rest of the year, you're all of a sudden in a SAD funk (as in, Seasonal Affective Disorder, not as in, I AM SAD IN CAPS LOCK) and it is so painfully obvious that it's your brain chemistry working against you that you want to not be depressed just to spite your brain, but alas, it's really hard and your bed is really the best place to be, anyway.
Point being, I finally got one of those "happy lamps," AKA "full-spectrum lighting," last night at Duane Reade. It says it should take 2-4 days to "take effect," whatever that means, so I'm going to be semi-scientific about this and BLOG ABOUT MY FEELINGS.
Yesterday: I managed to get outside, despite feeling completely unmotivated, mainly because I already had plans to go ice skating with my friends (once there, I was somewhat curmudgeonly - sorry, friends!), so that was a net positive.
I was tired after about three hours of being up-and-moving, but still managed to meet up with my best friend at our favorite bar (where she reminded me that we needed to get cheese fries with gravy "because this is probably the last time we'll be able to" - THANKS A LOT FOR REINFORCING MY SADNESS D: SOB) before buying said lamp when we went to Duane Reade to pick up some baby food for her aged and dying rats.
Yes, baby food. For rats. Anyway.
We were in the checkout line and looking at the sale items on the end caps, and I was seriously considering the purchase of a bulk package of Ferrero Rocher, even though I don't know that I've ever eaten them, and she pointed out that as I am depressed, I should probably buy one of those stupid happy lamps already, especially since I've been depressed since forever and like to generally ignore common sense in favor of hibernating. I took it home, plugged it in and lay on my bed, soaking up its rays, and thinking, "am I doing this right? Is there a right way to do this? Should I be dressed like I'm sunbathing instead of like I'm in the arctic?"
Then I watched a weird movie about abusive relationships (so, I'm not particularly smart about getting out of depressive funks, so sue me) and went to sleep.
Today, I managed to remember to turn the lamp on about 40 minutes into my alarm going off. I managed to remember that today is Feel Free to Talk to Me If I'm Wearing A Dinosaur Comics T-Shirt Day, and put on my "THERE. now i'm not naked anymore" shirt under a more work-appropriate shirt, so I guess people will need to be mildly psychic to know that they can talk to me? Also I totally got to work on time. This all seems positive.
I am still really tired, though, so I guess it isn't working so much as it's placebo-ish-working, in that I'm thinking, "Okay. I invested $39.99 in this lamp, so I had better try to make this work." But still, I got to work with a solid 7 minutes to spare, which is a huge improvement over the last three weeks or so where I just haven't really cared at all. My main recourse when I'm really depressed is to think, "Healthy me is going to be SO PISSED that depressed me didn't do anything right and possibly got us in trouble at work, depressed me." It works about half the time, and has consistently gotten me to work.
Depression is such a weird, assholic thing. I have a lot of resentment towards my brain when I'm in depressed mode, because it's so clearly not my fault. I'm doing all the right things and my brain is just straight-up determined that I'm not getting out of bed for two weeks, and the rest of me has to fight back really hard to get myself out of my PJs.
It also seems really unfair, because if you say something like, "Man, I just could not get out of bed this morning," there is almost nobody in the world who won't say, "Yeah! Me too. I need some coffee!" So it's really hard for people who aren't depressed to understand that when I say that, I don't mean, "Man, I'm tired!" or "Man, I wish I still got summer vacation!" but "Man, I don't want anything to the extent that lying in bed for the next several weeks without leaving for any reason whatsoever seems like the best option." Sometimes it takes effort to make myself watch TV or a movie in my own apartment, let alone go out and socialize with other humans.
My entire body feels sore, I'm exhausted, the thought of going to a holiday party for an organization I volunteer with tonight seems completely overwhelming.
I really want this stupid lamp to work. Argh.
Point being, I finally got one of those "happy lamps," AKA "full-spectrum lighting," last night at Duane Reade. It says it should take 2-4 days to "take effect," whatever that means, so I'm going to be semi-scientific about this and BLOG ABOUT MY FEELINGS.
Yesterday: I managed to get outside, despite feeling completely unmotivated, mainly because I already had plans to go ice skating with my friends (once there, I was somewhat curmudgeonly - sorry, friends!), so that was a net positive.
I was tired after about three hours of being up-and-moving, but still managed to meet up with my best friend at our favorite bar (where she reminded me that we needed to get cheese fries with gravy "because this is probably the last time we'll be able to" - THANKS A LOT FOR REINFORCING MY SADNESS D: SOB) before buying said lamp when we went to Duane Reade to pick up some baby food for her aged and dying rats.
Yes, baby food. For rats. Anyway.
We were in the checkout line and looking at the sale items on the end caps, and I was seriously considering the purchase of a bulk package of Ferrero Rocher, even though I don't know that I've ever eaten them, and she pointed out that as I am depressed, I should probably buy one of those stupid happy lamps already, especially since I've been depressed since forever and like to generally ignore common sense in favor of hibernating. I took it home, plugged it in and lay on my bed, soaking up its rays, and thinking, "am I doing this right? Is there a right way to do this? Should I be dressed like I'm sunbathing instead of like I'm in the arctic?"
Then I watched a weird movie about abusive relationships (so, I'm not particularly smart about getting out of depressive funks, so sue me) and went to sleep.
Today, I managed to remember to turn the lamp on about 40 minutes into my alarm going off. I managed to remember that today is Feel Free to Talk to Me If I'm Wearing A Dinosaur Comics T-Shirt Day, and put on my "THERE. now i'm not naked anymore" shirt under a more work-appropriate shirt, so I guess people will need to be mildly psychic to know that they can talk to me? Also I totally got to work on time. This all seems positive.
I am still really tired, though, so I guess it isn't working so much as it's placebo-ish-working, in that I'm thinking, "Okay. I invested $39.99 in this lamp, so I had better try to make this work." But still, I got to work with a solid 7 minutes to spare, which is a huge improvement over the last three weeks or so where I just haven't really cared at all. My main recourse when I'm really depressed is to think, "Healthy me is going to be SO PISSED that depressed me didn't do anything right and possibly got us in trouble at work, depressed me." It works about half the time, and has consistently gotten me to work.
Depression is such a weird, assholic thing. I have a lot of resentment towards my brain when I'm in depressed mode, because it's so clearly not my fault. I'm doing all the right things and my brain is just straight-up determined that I'm not getting out of bed for two weeks, and the rest of me has to fight back really hard to get myself out of my PJs.
It also seems really unfair, because if you say something like, "Man, I just could not get out of bed this morning," there is almost nobody in the world who won't say, "Yeah! Me too. I need some coffee!" So it's really hard for people who aren't depressed to understand that when I say that, I don't mean, "Man, I'm tired!" or "Man, I wish I still got summer vacation!" but "Man, I don't want anything to the extent that lying in bed for the next several weeks without leaving for any reason whatsoever seems like the best option." Sometimes it takes effort to make myself watch TV or a movie in my own apartment, let alone go out and socialize with other humans.
My entire body feels sore, I'm exhausted, the thought of going to a holiday party for an organization I volunteer with tonight seems completely overwhelming.
I really want this stupid lamp to work. Argh.
12.16.2011
just in time for scrambling last-minute holiday shopping!
I started an Amazon Associates store which I'm telling you about mainly so you can go and appreciate how great my taste is. For instance: DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN BUY A WHOLE PALLET OF NONG SHIM SPICY RAMEN FOR LIKE $20 ON AMAZON. DID YOU KNOW THAT.
Now you do.
Now you do.
anyone desperate to get me a crocheted stole?
I'm just saying, if I had an extra $120 I would totally get this for you because I'm a good friend.
Also I'm currently obsessed with The Bloggess. Truly incredible stuff, you guys.
Also also I'm working on a series of posts in which I tell you whether or not every single TV series I've ever seen is worth watching. It's going to be similar to an encyclopedia, but more useful because you'll know what you need to put on your Hulu+ or Netflix queue. Because while most opinions are debatable, mine are certified facts. Expect the first installment before the end of the year/world.
Also I'm currently obsessed with The Bloggess. Truly incredible stuff, you guys.
Also also I'm working on a series of posts in which I tell you whether or not every single TV series I've ever seen is worth watching. It's going to be similar to an encyclopedia, but more useful because you'll know what you need to put on your Hulu+ or Netflix queue. Because while most opinions are debatable, mine are certified facts. Expect the first installment before the end of the year/world.
12.15.2011
things for you to read: extended edition
First, in totally depressing things that are depressing, there's this article that makes it super obvious why more survivors of rape and sexual assault don't come forward. I strongly urge you to read it and pass it around, especially because of the part where juries in sexual assault cases are generally not open to persons who have been personally affected by sexual assault (which I assume includes close friends or family members of survivors). People need to talk about this! People need to stop victim-blaming! Juries need to convict actual sex offenders instead of putting fifteen-year-olds who had emotionally-but-not-legally-consensual-sex (in many states in the US, the legal age of consent is 16) on registered sex offender lists for life. In that vein, there's also this amazing article from Salon about how the well-meaning advice on how to avoid getting raped is, well, completely stupid and useless. During the entire course of my abusive relationship, I had zero alcohol (I didn't even try sips of my parents' wine at dinner until I was in college), I wore lots of layers in a weird proto-hipster style, I had a curfew, and none of that stopped my abuser from being an abuser. I had nothing to do with what he did.
Okay, angry survivor rant over.
Next on the list: a young Joan Rivers doing stand-up on some sort of bizarre variety show thing.
I don't know if you read the "If I Were a Poor Black Kid" article - I got about halfway through before I quit reading in disgust - but even if you didn't, the responses outlined in this article are an interesting and worthwhile read.
Ryan North jumps on the holiday bandwagon, albeit in a very cynical (and enjoyable) way.
I can't remember if I've linked to ManBoobz before, but it's great for when you need a little ragercise in your day. This old Maxim article, in particular, was a great workout for my anger-glutes.
One of my good friends linked me to The Bloggess, who is hilarious and awesome and whose other blogs I haven't gotten to yet because there is already a lot to read just on this one - anyway, if this story of taxidermy doesn't make you want to read the whole thing, I don't understand you.
Businessweek's awesome correlation =/= causation graphs will hopefully make you laugh, if you are a nerd like me, or if you just appreciate how ridiculous things are sometimes.
I always love MentalFloss, and this Real or Onion? quiz was crazy difficult, and sort of hilarious.
This video will probably make you dizzy.
Whitewashing! Yayyyy (and by "yayyyy" I mean "uuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh") !!!
Finally, the best gift for any holiday, that just keeps on giving.
(But actually, if you're looking for a holiday gift for someone who really doesn't need anything, maybe consider sponsoring something in their name for someone who does need something?)
Okay, angry survivor rant over.
Next on the list: a young Joan Rivers doing stand-up on some sort of bizarre variety show thing.
I don't know if you read the "If I Were a Poor Black Kid" article - I got about halfway through before I quit reading in disgust - but even if you didn't, the responses outlined in this article are an interesting and worthwhile read.
Ryan North jumps on the holiday bandwagon, albeit in a very cynical (and enjoyable) way.
I can't remember if I've linked to ManBoobz before, but it's great for when you need a little ragercise in your day. This old Maxim article, in particular, was a great workout for my anger-glutes.
One of my good friends linked me to The Bloggess, who is hilarious and awesome and whose other blogs I haven't gotten to yet because there is already a lot to read just on this one - anyway, if this story of taxidermy doesn't make you want to read the whole thing, I don't understand you.
Businessweek's awesome correlation =/= causation graphs will hopefully make you laugh, if you are a nerd like me, or if you just appreciate how ridiculous things are sometimes.
I always love MentalFloss, and this Real or Onion? quiz was crazy difficult, and sort of hilarious.
This video will probably make you dizzy.
Whitewashing! Yayyyy (and by "yayyyy" I mean "uuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh") !!!
Finally, the best gift for any holiday, that just keeps on giving.
(But actually, if you're looking for a holiday gift for someone who really doesn't need anything, maybe consider sponsoring something in their name for someone who does need something?)
12.09.2011
nearing 1,000, hooray!
I am in a mild fugue state at the moment, as my best friend just informed me that she is moving across the country a full month before she said she was, but I wanted to say thanks to people who are reading this, from all over the world, apparently (Google Analytics says I'm big in Russia) and also remind everyone to click on an ad today, on some fledgling blogger's blog (mine works as much as anyone's! :D).
Also, just a side note - I just started watching Lie to Me and am in LOVE. If you like Castle or Psych or Bones or anything else that I would call an irreverent crime procedural, you will probably like Lie to Me. Also, if you like weird sciences and always want to jump into a career of something because of watching a TV show about it (i.e., forensics because of Bones, fake psychicing because of Psych, crime writing and/or ass-kickery because of Castle), you will probably enjoy its look into the science of lies. I especially like when they use pictures of famous lies or famous examples of emotion to show you, yup, this really is a universal facial reaction, and if you are like me, you will catch yourself doing microexpressions of various things and probably look like a lunatic as you laugh at yourself for tinily shrugging or biting your lip unconsciously.
Of course, it does fall into certain crime procedural tropes, including one that irritates me to no end - the all-Muslims-aren't-suicide-bombers!-but-one-in-this-episode-is-let's-find-out-who-oh-wait-everyone's-just-racist thing, which... like, no, the vast majority of Muslims are not extremists, but why do all crime procedurals feel the need to do at least one episode in which they point it out, and all of them feel very much like the people writing the episode were like, "oh my gosh, this is going to be so OUT THERE and AVANT-GARDE and make people UNCOMFORTABLE," and it's like, really? Showing Muslims as normal humans is avant-garde?
/SIIIIIIIIIGH. That got very tangent-y very quickly. I just watched the one with the seeming-suicide-bombers plot last night, which is probably why I'm stuck on it. Also I think I recently watched an episode of something else with that same plot. It's just that you don't see a lot of Muslim characters on shows for anything except the episodes about/seemingly about religious extremism, which is just stupid.
Oh, well, there was that character arc on Bones with Arastoo Vaziri, (spoiler warning on the season from 2009, highlight for text) where he fakes an accent so that the team won't be jerks about his prayer schedule, which was very surprising to me, when it came out that he was faking it.
And of course, there's Abed on Community, who is one of my single-most favorite characters of all time, of any medium.
Annnnnnyway. I was hoping to find an article on Racialicious or something about the whole Muslims on TV issue, but "All-American Muslim" is skewing my search results. An article from last year on KoldCast names 14 American films (and TV) from 1980 on that have nuanced portrayals of Muslims - but that also includes Antonio Banderas playing an Arab Muslim, and several movies and shows that, to be perfectly honest, I had never heard of before. But, seriously, if you take pretty much any group that is a minority in the US and try to think of 14 positive or nuanced depictions of them in pop culture in the last 30 years, you're going to have to include some little-known documentaries and low-budget movies too. Sometimes I just want to slap Hollywood across the face and say, "Seriously, Hollywood. I'm really not afraid of seeing people of color (or queer spectrum, for that matter) on my TV or movie screen."
I usually avoid writing/talking/commenting about this kind of thing, because I don't want to say the wrong thing and sound like a gross racist, but making members of minority groups hold the obligation for bringing up that group's issues is massively unfair and ridiculous.
So there you go, Hollywood. I consume pop culture like it's my job. I'm white and middle-class. And I want diversity in my TV and movies. SURPRISE!
Also, just a side note - I just started watching Lie to Me and am in LOVE. If you like Castle or Psych or Bones or anything else that I would call an irreverent crime procedural, you will probably like Lie to Me. Also, if you like weird sciences and always want to jump into a career of something because of watching a TV show about it (i.e., forensics because of Bones, fake psychicing because of Psych, crime writing and/or ass-kickery because of Castle), you will probably enjoy its look into the science of lies. I especially like when they use pictures of famous lies or famous examples of emotion to show you, yup, this really is a universal facial reaction, and if you are like me, you will catch yourself doing microexpressions of various things and probably look like a lunatic as you laugh at yourself for tinily shrugging or biting your lip unconsciously.
Of course, it does fall into certain crime procedural tropes, including one that irritates me to no end - the all-Muslims-aren't-suicide-bombers!-but-one-in-this-episode-is-let's-find-out-who-oh-wait-everyone's-just-racist thing, which... like, no, the vast majority of Muslims are not extremists, but why do all crime procedurals feel the need to do at least one episode in which they point it out, and all of them feel very much like the people writing the episode were like, "oh my gosh, this is going to be so OUT THERE and AVANT-GARDE and make people UNCOMFORTABLE," and it's like, really? Showing Muslims as normal humans is avant-garde?
/SIIIIIIIIIGH. That got very tangent-y very quickly. I just watched the one with the seeming-suicide-bombers plot last night, which is probably why I'm stuck on it. Also I think I recently watched an episode of something else with that same plot. It's just that you don't see a lot of Muslim characters on shows for anything except the episodes about/seemingly about religious extremism, which is just stupid.
Oh, well, there was that character arc on Bones with Arastoo Vaziri, (spoiler warning on the season from 2009, highlight for text) where he fakes an accent so that the team won't be jerks about his prayer schedule, which was very surprising to me, when it came out that he was faking it.
And of course, there's Abed on Community, who is one of my single-most favorite characters of all time, of any medium.
Annnnnnyway. I was hoping to find an article on Racialicious or something about the whole Muslims on TV issue, but "All-American Muslim" is skewing my search results. An article from last year on KoldCast names 14 American films (and TV) from 1980 on that have nuanced portrayals of Muslims - but that also includes Antonio Banderas playing an Arab Muslim, and several movies and shows that, to be perfectly honest, I had never heard of before. But, seriously, if you take pretty much any group that is a minority in the US and try to think of 14 positive or nuanced depictions of them in pop culture in the last 30 years, you're going to have to include some little-known documentaries and low-budget movies too. Sometimes I just want to slap Hollywood across the face and say, "Seriously, Hollywood. I'm really not afraid of seeing people of color (or queer spectrum, for that matter) on my TV or movie screen."
I usually avoid writing/talking/commenting about this kind of thing, because I don't want to say the wrong thing and sound like a gross racist, but making members of minority groups hold the obligation for bringing up that group's issues is massively unfair and ridiculous.
So there you go, Hollywood. I consume pop culture like it's my job. I'm white and middle-class. And I want diversity in my TV and movies. SURPRISE!
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